nature_loving_queer: (Glitter)
nature_loving_queer ([personal profile] nature_loving_queer) wrote2010-10-03 07:58 pm

Words Hurt

The first time I heard the word fag a piece of my heart broke.
It broke off, ran away and still hasn't come back. 
Do you remember the first time you were made fun of? 
The day you realized words hurt more than any punch or kick could.
A band-aid, ice or a kiss from mom couldn't heal the wound.
It festered in the back of your mind, and in your heart, like a rotting apple. 
Because to them that's all you are. Not a human, but an object, something than can bruise.
And bruises don't go away.
An apple's only good without bruises, and they only go away if you cut them off.
It works on apples.
It doesn't work on people. 
Trust me.
No matter how hard you try to get rid of that bruise, to get rid of that pain, it's never good enough.
Nothing ever takes it all away. 
It's a cycle.
But unlike your laundry it doesn't end with a beep, and there's no clean, warm clothing waiting for you.
You can't take off that kind of pain like you can with a shirt.
Every cut isn't like a button being undone, slowly loosening and eventually taking all the pain with it as it falls to the floor.
That doesn't work with people.
It's a constant fight.
Your own skin, your own image, your own feelings are the enemy in this battle.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Like a rainbow appearing after the rain or the sun rising after the dark, cold night.
You can appear and rise up.
You are rooted to the Earth, and the Earth gives you strength.
Strength to battle the words that cause the hurt, instead of fighting yourself.
We all hurt and we all have bruises, but unlike apples we are more than just bruises.
We are stronger than that.
I remember the first time someone told me I changed their life.
A part of my heart grew.
The bruises won't go away, but living with them is possible.